Everlasting Nightmares
by The Archangel Angel
Summary: She was in pain everlasting insanity but she kept it locked away hidden from plain view her mother locked away her father's blood tainted her skin without him she would have lost it within the first day he could comfort her like no one else could and he understood that is why she never wanted to leave him but can he really keep the pain away the nightmares? OCxNear Review please!
1. Within there's an Everlasting Insanity

Deathnote

Chapter 1

" Why am I here mother" the sleepy girl asked, she stared at the rather large building that stood before her and her mother "stop asking questions you will go where ever I tell you!" her mother snapped "mother are you drunk?" she broke the rule and she knew she was going to pay but miraculously her mother didn't do anything. She continued to drag the child toward the gloomy and depressing building but as they got closer the child realized that it was an abandoned warehouse and a sudden a feeling of dread and terror washed over like she couldn't explain it all she knew was that it was a horrifying emotion, she planted her feet to stop her mother from bringing her any closer or into that building she was scared her mother was dangerous when she was drunk and sometimes she had been taken away because the school nurse who saw the bruises and called child services. In the end though she was always sent back because her mother used her talents to her advantage saying if it was such a bad home she wouldn't be as smart as she is now and they always took into account that the girl was smart enough to take college courses at such a young age and she was 7 though she had a habit of playing with toys at every chance she got it had always turned out the same. But this time she was truly scared, scared for her own life "enough stop dragging your feet now!"her mother yelled and when she didn't stop her mother hit her and she fell to the ground hard enough for her to see stars. Her mother look disgusted like her being was absolutely disgusting itself and yanked her arm up hard enough that it was dislocated "aiiiee mommy please stop it hurts!" the girl begged her mother but her mother continued to drag her by the dislocated arm she held back the screams but openly cried her mother threw open the door and then threw her onto the floor. The girl turned only to have a sharp pain suddenly bloom on her cheek she could tell where her mother had just sliced into her, blood poured streaming then flowing heavily down from the wound she touched it which made blood pour out faster she then turned to the woman who was supposed to be her mother and she was anticipating that sick twisted grin her mother had on her face when she beat her but what she saw was that her mother was crying " I can't lose you not you" she cried slashing down the girl barley registered the glint of silver the knife her mother kept in her purse an explosion of pain erupted from her chest "aaaiiieee mommy stop what are you doing your supposed to protect me, love me why!" she cried out as her mother sliced deeper into her she tries to stand up but her mother knocked her down and continued to slice the front of her daughters chest and torso "you...you are... YOU ARE THE DEVIL'S CHILD YOU ARE AN ALBINO YOU ARE TO SMART FOR A NORMAL CHILD AND THEY TOOK YOUR SISTERS AWAY I CAN'T LET THEM TAKE YOU AND I CAN'T LET YOU LIVE!" her mother screamed as she sliced deeper and faster then when she was satisfied she kicked her daughter onto her stomach. Cutting a deep X into her back while her daughter screamed in pain unable to move her mother slicing again and again "PAPA HELP ME!" the poor child cried out for her father the one who truly cared and as if her guardian angel had heard her father burst into the warehouse along with the police "step away from her Alice stop it now!" her father threw his wife to the ground while the police began to rush towards the family scene but they were to late mother had gotten back up knife in hand ready to deliver the death blow the one that would end a life... but not the right one. "PAPA!" the young girl screamed for her father who had taken that final blow her mother dropped the knife shaken by the fact she had just sliced her husbands throat, the police finally got there tackling her mother to the ground but everything slowed down the girl unable to comprehend anything as she held onto her dying father as his life's blood pulsed out of the wound onto her forever soaking her in it, slowly poisoning her as it merges with her own, slowly driving her to insanity but all that mattered was her father, "listen to me love please" her father whispered she nodded tears streaming down faster then they could ever go "remember always remember that I always loved you and that I always will never forget the ok love?" he asked her "of course, I always loved yo...papa?" but it was to late her father had already released his final breath and that bright, cheery light slowly faded from his eyes the girl had never known so much pain so much grief that she couldn't even say his name all she could do was scream one single heart piercing, blood curdling, mind shattering scream "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee!"

Her papa died that day and so did she that sweet, small, innocent child would never come back.

3 yrs. later

She sat straight up only to hit her head on the car door "GOD DAMMIT" she cursed as she held her poor now pounding painfully head "Miss. could you please refrain from cursing" the social worker scolded "screw you I can curse all I want dammit" she muttered under her breath "did you say something?" the social worker asked I rolled my eyes as I replied " no Mrs. Scott I did not say anything" she nodded quick and sharp just like the stuck up person she is _someday I would love to kick her royal ass of the high and mighty throne she places herself on... one day._I looked out of the window watching the bright green pastures pass by counting how many horses or cows I saw as we whizzed past "Miss. Rivers would you try and put a smile on today I know what happened with you and your fam..." be quiet' I told her simply that look on her face she was probably angry and confused on how I seemed so calm about it "ahh we are here young Missy" my driver Pablo said "_gracias Senior Pablo"_ Mrs. Scott remarked as Pablo opened her door I scooted out after her me and Pablo sharing a secret wink "thanks a lot Pablo I'm gonna miss you so much"I pouted a bit Pablo was the last thing closest to being family he had been our driver (never liked to brag but my dad had been very rich) "you don't have to worry about that because Wammy's is going to let me drive you" he cheered I smiled glad I wouldn't have to give up my only family. "Miss. please hurry up and put on something more respectable" she snapped I look at the Pj's _not gonna cut it _hopped into the back and changed into a white tank some light blue shorts along with some earrings and bangles with the silver ring my father had left me. I ran to catch up to she looked me up and down "better" she remarked I looked around expecting well really I didn't now what to expect until something tall and blond crashed into me "sheep why are you..."yo mello look" a redhead appeared next to him nudging him in the ribs but never looking up from his DS his eyes were glued to it "huh what Matt" and then the kid mello got a real look at me and when his eyes rested on my chest he went real red in the face " I would like you to stop staring at my chest" I muttered dryly he blushed even harder when he got caught and looked at my face instead "what is someone like you doing here?" Matt the red asked "same reason you guys are here I have no family" I stated bluntly now it was his turn to go red when the statement was really quite obvious "Miss. please stop talking to those _boys_ and lets go" Mrs. Scott insisted I grinned boys she really doesn't seem to care for them, " huh interesting name but here's a tip get a different aliases got it lamb?" I raised one of my eyebrows _did he just call me lamb, sheep first now lamb?_

I walked into the very nice and tidy office " ah you must be the new girl we have been expecting thank you Mrs. Scott I think we can handle it from here" the man smiled at her "um OK thank you" she didn't even bother to say goodbye _what a royal bitch _"hello my name is roger I will give you some time to think about a name until then it is a great pleasure to meet you" he held out his hand I took it and shook hands "my pleasure Mr. Roger" I complied "well it's good to young people with such good manners but never mind me we need to talk about your living status there is a slight problem we don't have any girl roommates available so we had to put you with the only person who doesn't have a roommate and unfortunately that would be..."Yo roger I brought the sheep" mello announced I was confused he had called me sheep earlier was there really a person who was called that? "Mello why did you drag me here I could have easily walked here if you had given me a straight answer" a slightly only slightly irritated voice murmured behind him I looked behind him to only find another albino like me in white pajamas(?) sitting well I guess that's because mello had him by the arm and was now dragging him forwards, he pulled the poor kid up in front of him, I offered my hand to pull him up he looked at as if studying me then he reached for my hand and I managed to pull him up. "Thank you for your assistance" the boy inquired I nodded at him "so roger why do you need sheep here" mello asked "mello I think you should refrain calling near sheep especially with another in the room "huh, oh yeah it's nice to see you again lamb" he laughed I frowned and roger just sighed "first let us introduce each other near this will be your new roommate if it's OK with you if she is a girl and you to Miss. is that ok if near is to be yours too?" he asked I looked at near and he looked at me 'I do not mind" I replied "neither do I" near calmly stated "wait what roger are you telling me your going to stick this poor girl with him" mello pointed at near "yes I am and they seemed perfectly fine with it so you may either leave or stay quiet" roger interrupted "now near would you mind showing her around do you?" roger asked "of course not" he stated " good you are all excused" he declared. "Man do I feel sorry for you new girl" mello mused "mello why do you insist on saying that to her?" near replied mello got red in the face these two must not like each-other considering the fact mello had just pulled that little stunt but I stayed quiet and waited until they settled things out.

Near's P.O.V.

The new girl seemed quiet and respectful she was even willing to sit and wait as me and mello "talked", mello began to drag me out of her hearing range or so he thought I think that she was going to be able to hear everything that was going to be said "you just stay away from her got it I think I got a shot so don't go and make me look like a ass got it"he growled "mello would you please stop touching me" I asked "dammit sheep I don't know why I wasted my time with you your so damn useless not to mention your not exactly boyfriend material" he whispered cruelly apparently the girl could hear everything very well "near, mello are you two done I would still like to see around" she questioned "hey let me show you around sheep here well he isn't exactly the friendly type or any sex appeal" he pointed out the girl smiled as she went red "I don't mind as long as he doesn't bite I'm sure I can handle it"she stated I walked between the two and she followed "so near how long have you been here?" she asked "1 year, the classes are here A, B, C depending on your rank highest is A and so on" he explained "these are the rooms, and this he pointed to a lone room on the other side of a dark empty hallway"is where our room is" she poked her head slightly leaning on me, he made a point of moving " I don't like when people touching me so" of course I'm sorry" she apologized he waved it off "your new" he calmly explained he walked her around some more but nothing really seemed to matter anymore "dinner has started" I informed her, she poked her head in"to many people I think I'm gonna wait" she exclaimed she hated interacting with so many kids, "alright I'm going to game room where will you be?" I asked "unpacking I guess" she shrugged not much to unpack "alright but... "don't worry I hate flashy posters or colors so you don't have to worry there" she laughed lightly I shifted uncomfortably unsure of what to do"alright I guess I'll see you later" she fiddled with the ring she had on I didn't get a good look it was probably a purity ring I nodded and walked out of the door she would be a good roommate right?

Normal P.O.V

I walked into the room I don't know why I said I was going to unpack I had nothing last time I checked and that was wrong I had gotten gifts from well let's see of course I smiled at the signature, Pablo and I opened it, I knew it a small electric oven good that way I don't have to got to the noisy cafeteria and a book from Mrs. Scott normally I would've enjoyed it but it was about romance and boys so I tossed it aside I clambered onto the bed and went to work on the puzzle I found and when I finished put it back where I had found and began to inspect the room even more when a knock came to the door "come in" and near walked in "you don't have to knock to come into your own room if I need to change I will go tho the bathroom" I announced he nodded "the cafeteria isn't as full if you are hungry" he muttered I stood up and followed him out of the door. We walked in silence until we entered the cafeteria that's when we were ambushed by mello and red "hey lamb why don't you sit with us" it was more like an order I shook my head "I'm fine thank you though" if anything I was polite "fine whatever lets go Matt" mello huffed I walked and picked out a few choice items (water and some crackers) but before I could walk away "oh no sorry Missy but we got to keep you well fed like Mr. Near you are going to eat" a plump friendly woman chastised I looked at near and he nodded so to please the woman I got a sandwich and a salad along with my crackers and water she nodded smiling, I followed near to were he sat and sat next to him I didn't want to be alone but I didn't want to surrounded I picked at food taking a few bites out of the sandwich and salad I suddenly felt cold as if something was standing behind me or staring at me I looked behind me "are you OK?" near asked concentrating on how he would eat the food "fine" I mumbled and got up to throw away whatever was left he did the same thing after eating the sandwich we walked back together and again I got that same chilling feeling I couldn't help but walk a little closer to near he frowned a little as he saw the confused look on my face "are you sure your fine?" he asked trying to scoot away but when the feeling turned to dread I clutched at his arm becoming somewhat frightened "does it feel like someone is watching us!?" I asked he nodded "how long are you going to continue to suffocate my arm?" he asked I forgot that and quickly let go but I still wasn't going to move away until we got to the room I walked to the bathroom and changed into my Pj's. I almost fell asleep until I saw the door open I could only see the outlines but I knew who it was but before I could react the threw something over near from buckets I sat there and heard "Him" talking to near. " listen good sheep stay away from her if you don't she's going to pay and you got it!" he whispered dangerously now that's were he crossed the line I jumped up and switched on the lights "that's enough!" I yelled mello looked up surprised "I said enough now get out mello I don't want to see you around this room anymore!" I yelled at him he was shocked and quickly ran out of the room I quickly made it over to near who was sitting there shivering I touched his cheek and then the bed, mello had dumped a bucket of ice water over him and being under a AC vent didn't help either "come on near you gotta get out of those before you catch a cold" I tugged him out of the bed and into the bathroom I turned on a warm bath and tugged off his shirt and then instructed him to get in as I turned around but he just sat there and continued to shiver. "You did not have to strip me and shove me in" he argued as I poured another cup of water over his head "apparently I did because you refused to get in" I snapped softly I pulled out two towels and handed him one then turned around "why are you doing this?" his voice was so soft I didn't think he even said anything "because I'm your friend" was my reply as I turned around I took the second towel and began to dry his hair.

I wasn't going to watch him the entire time so I went and checked his bed it was soaked touching it caused a stream of water to flow from it "where is he going to sleep" I thought out loud as I sat on my bed. I fell half asleep before near came out he to touched his bed before walking over to me where I had signaled him to come over I got up and scooted over despite how much I wanted to sleep and patted the bed we'd have to share the pillow but that would be fine with me he shook his head "no I..." I tried to push him onto the bed but he struggled against me "near you have to sleep somewhere and the floor isn't and option I managed to push him on the bed and then sat on him wrapping my legs around his waist and pinning his shoulders he continued to squirm but I collapsed next to him wrapping my arms around his waist trapping him "if I let go you have to promise you'll stay here promise?" I asked he sighed then nodded I let go and shut my eyes unable to control my sleeping body I wrapped my arms around his waist again and nuzzled his chest.

I began to rub the sleep out of my eyes I had awoken and found myself curled up against near "near hey near wake up" I giggled as he groaned it's cute when he let's his guard down so just to mess with him I got really close to his face "hey near it's time to get up" I crooned his eyes shot open and he sat up so fast I had no time to react as his lips crashed against mine. His eyes got as big as saucers until we pulled away from the delicate kiss "I...I..um I...I" I kept stuttering I was so embarrassed heat rising to my face and he had a slight pink tinge as well I moved away from him and ran to the bathroom what just happened my head was buzzing even though I wasn't supposed to I was still thinking about the kiss his lips my god they were they were ahhhh I hit my head to rid myself of such thoughts I needed to confront him about it so I swung the door open and quickly stepped out to an unsuspecting near crashing into him we fell to the floor he cushioned my fall OH MY GOD! again we had locked lips again but the this time I didn't freak out we quickly broke it and stood up "near I'm sorry I didn't mean to kiss you just joke" I explained he nodded I then I realized why he wasn't saying anything he was bright red and because of his pale skin it stood out like there was no tomorrow "near are you OK?" I asked he took a deep breath but that didn't manage to get rid of the blush "I am just shocked I have never kissed a girl I hadn't been planning on it anyways" he muttered I smiled relieved that he was OK with it. I walked out next to near that whole kissing stuff was going to stay strictly between us "near I'm just going to wonder around is that OK?" I asked he nodded I looked around and wandering from room to room trailing my fingers along the wall until *_click*_ my nails caught a break in the door my face lit up a secret passage way I pried the door open and felt along the wall bingo! a light switch I turned it on revealing a large beautiful room with wooden floors and mirrored walls and a large, black, gorgeous, grand piano I walked over and sat down pressing the keys waiting for what lay deep beneath hidden in that little special place within my soul.


	2. I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you

**Death Note**

3 years later

"Near get your ass over here now!"mello yelled as I pulled near out of the cafeteria "near why is mello angry" I laughed as we sprinted to the safety of our room "it is an insignificant situation that you need not worry yourself about" near mumbled glowing red "OMG you didn't near" I gasped fighting the giggles "if you are implying that I took mello's chocolate then yes I did" he was crimson now and mello was now pounding on the door "near you better give me back my damn chocolate or I'm gonna kick your ass" mello shouted through the door I leaned over and kissed near on the cheek "good job" I laughed walking over to the door and quickly opened the door sending mello flying across the room "dammit River why the hell did you do that for" he whined "cause you said you were gonna hurt near remember karma's a bitch" I laughed "whatever I came for the chocolate" he huffed glaring to near he held out the chocolate and mello grabbed it stalking out of the room I looked over my shoulder "hey near gonna be alright your blushing pretty hard" I grinned remembering what I had done he nodded I walked over to my bed and sat down after one year near and I had gotten pretty close always around each-other even after getting a new girl student we stayed together. I leaned back onto my pillows "hey near I'm going to head out for awhile OK?" I asked he nodded we always told each-other if we were leaving no matter what, I picked up my journal and headed to to that hidden room I had found so long ago _*click*_ and wall swung open I shut it behind me and gently brushed my fingers over the ivory keys of my piano sitting down I turned to my journal picking out a unfinished song little had I known that he'd followed me.

_"_

_Please, please, forgive me_

_But I won't be home again_

_Maybe someday you'll look up_

_And barely conscious, you'll say to no one_

_"Isn't something missing?_

_You won't cry for my absence, I know_

_You forgot me long ago_

_Am I that unimportant?_

_Am I so insignificant?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Please, please, forgive me_

_But I won't be home again_

_I know what you do to yourself_

_I breathe deep and cry out_

_"Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?"_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed_

_Knowing you don't care_

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_I'll wake without you there_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?"_

I sang until the last key had been played and felt a light tap at my shoulder and standing there was mello _and _near "how...how did you..." I asked weakly seeing the hurt on nears face "I followed you and then when I saw you were making daily trips I told near and well here we are now" mello explained near sat there saying nothing "mello can you leave please?" I asked he nodded and stepped out of the room. I got up and walked to near "near?"I asked as I reached for him, he pushed my hand away "do you really feel like that River does being with me mean nothing?!" he yelled "near no that's not what the song was about please just listen" I tried to explain but he was hurt and I knew anyone knew if he got emotional that meant it meant something to him it meant a lot "near please just listen!" I cried tears streaming down "no River" and he was gone now I was really alone I fell to my knees "near I'm so sorry" I whispered.

He refused to talk to me when I got back to the room after an hour of crying I went to lie on my bed, during the crying I realized I'd lost the person closest and hurt, it hurt a lot. The next morning he refused to talk to me or sit next to me he did that all day "dammit near what are you doing your hurting her!" I walked onto near and mello, mello had near pinned against the wall "listen to me near your hurting her don't you realize that the song wasn't about you or a boyfriend it's about..." I ran to them "mello leave him alone please!" I begged trying to pull mello's arms off "River go away I don't won't your sympathy" near scoffed that broke my heart and the tears came to my eyes and finally streaming I backed away until "I HATE YOU!" I screamed at him and ran off, running outside until I couldn't breath _why did he do it if only he knew how much pain I had already gone threw the people I had lost why!_ I sobbed until the sun went down dragging myself up to my room I went in and collapsed on the bed I couldn't do it again not again I would die if this went on and I would make sure of it.


	3. Insanity has an Antidote

Can I apologize?

After what seemed like months I thought my life was over until mello, mello solved all our problems "oh yeah Christmas is 3 days away you know what that means!" mello shouted I didn't bother to look up it didn't matter "alright suckers lunchtime" roger yelled I still stayed in place "river lunch" Matt poked me in the head "I'm OK" I whispered "alright but you gotta eat sometime" he groaned I continued to work on the puzzle it had been a gift from near last Christmas I could barely stand to look at yet touch it, it was taking all my will to not flinch and throw it away I stood up and walked to the room when I got there I fell to the bed and tried to sleep but it wasn't working I couldn't sleep anymore not with the nightmares I couldn't stand the nightmares not again I shivered beneath the comforter.

"HELL NO RIVER YOU ARE NOT SKIPPING DINNER GET YOUR ASS UP MOVE GOD DAMMIT!" mello shouted and when I didn't move he grabbed me the ankle and pulled me out "mello let me go" I mumbled he then pulled me up and over his shoulder "skipping meals isn't healthy you know" he stated I sighed "fine I'll go just put me down" I murmured he sat me down and quick as cat he pulled me down a hall. "Yo Matt you get him?" he whispered in to the darkness "yeah over here he ain't puttin' up much of a fight" came the reply with that mello dragged me over and pushed me into a closet locking the door behind me I looked into the dimly lit place only to see two piercing gray eyes "near!" I whispered backing up I slid against a wall "you two are gonna kiss and make up near your only making river feel bad take a close look at her and tell yourself is this how you want her to be because this is all your fault and you river explain to him about why you wrote that song oh and both of you look up" he snickered slightly at that part. I looked at near and he at me I saw his eyes widen at my stature I had grown very skinny, paler, had an un-healthy look to my face and bags under my eyes I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes sitting there taped was a very big sprig of mistletoe "that's right if you haven't looked up yet or don't know what it is it's mistletoe which means..." I got his meaning and so did near I wasn't going to do it but it's a tradition and I don't know what to do! I took a deep breath and tried to relax thinking screw it I'm gonna do it whether he likes it or not I have to know what his feelings are with that I closed with little space there was between us and pulled his head closer to mine taking his top lip as mine gently sucking on it I quickly got into a smoother pace going from one lip to another then I noticed that he had wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer and deepening the kisses we both pulled back breathless, as the tears slipped down my face "I'm sorry near I never meant to hurt you it wasn't about not thinking that you weren't enough it was about my mother she never loved me, never cared and then I lost my father please forgive me!" I cried burying my face into his shoulder "I'm the one who should be apologizing river I never should have jumped to such conclusions please forgive me?" that shouldn't have even been asked I smiled and kissed him again this time with more passion as he deepened it "I'll take that as a yes" he sighed heavily glad to have been reunited with his friend.

"Man now we sorta have a debt with mello" I thought out loud after taking a warm shower (by ourselves so don't get any ideas) I snuggled up to near on his bed "yes I believe we do don't we" he laughed _well screw mello I got other things to worry about_ I thought and tugged at nears pajama shirt "wha..." I cut him off by pulling him closer tentatively kissing him he pulled me closer but broke the kiss "we need to talk river" inwardly I sighed but went along "what do you want to talk about?" I asked "us" should a seen that one coming I nodded "were is this going river I mean do really you know love me can you?" he whispered I smiled and looked up to him I grabbed his collar surprising him, wrapping my arms around I continued my attack on his lips "river hm river" he groaned _damn it near stop talking _and as if getting my message he stopped finally joining me we made-out for a good ten minutes "damn you two made up quickly or should I say made out" near pulled away "go away mello can't you see we're busy here?" he rolled his eys and walked out "near I'm going to sleep" I announced he nodded ,curling up under the blankets I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

I felt something warm on my back so of course I woke to inspect it, near was lying there absently rubbing my back "hey near is everything alright?" I asked startling him out of his thoughts he nodded and wrapped a arm around me pulling me closer "yeah it's fine just go back to sleep" he ordered "no not until you tell me what's wrong" I protested he sighed at my stubbornness "a stubborn girlfriend I should have known" he sighed "and what does that mean" I retorted though he escaped that question. Leaning over he kissed me on the forehead "just go back to sleep river" he smiled I rolled my eyes and curled up against him trying to fall asleep.


End file.
